For Sale: Prophet’s Hovel

Audra_frontAlmost 8 years ago in 2007,  Audra moved into her own duplex just a few miles north of where the Two Witnesses live in a home on a golf course. The following year, Audra married Chris Little and settled in for a life of wedded bliss.

But in 2012, Christ failed to heed his second invitation from Ron to return. This meant that instead of being converted to a spirit being at Christ’s return, Ron had to go on trial for criminal tax evasion just a few weeks later. Although Chris attended Ron’s sentencing hearing in November of 2012 and sat beside Audra and about a dozen other church members on the side of the courtroom behind Ron and his 3 high priced attornies, the wedded bliss was about over.

By August of 2013, Chris and Audra were divorced.  Audra quickly recovered from the breakup, reportedly dating even before the ink was placed on the divorce decree and by February of this year was married to Edwin Van Horne.  Since Edwin lives in the Netherlands and reportedly has stable employment, the Van Horne’s live there and Audra comes to the States occasionally to show the flag and be ordained to higher rank in the visiting room at a Federal Correctional Institution.

Audra_entranceSo what to do about the condo?  Around a month ago, it went on the market.  Below is a clip of the realtor information.  Not listed among the selling points is that it is owned by the 3rd ranking prophet of God.  It does mention a short sale.  If what Audra paid matches the $140,000 tax valuation, she’s going to have to come up with some money to be able to sell it at the asking price of $125,000.  Too bad Audra’s prophecy skills don’t cover the decline in the real estate market.
———– Realtor’s description of Property —————————

Incredible unit 3 finished levels, wall of windows. Shower, sep whirlpool bath. Wood burning fireplace. Short sale. Buyer to check schools. Sold as is.

General Information

  • Beds: 2 Bed
  • Price: $125,000
  • Property Type: Single Family Home
  • Stories: 2
  • Baths:2 Full, 2 Half Bath
  • Lot Size: 1,742 Sq Ft Lot
  • Style: Traditional
  • Garage: 1 car garage

Bedrooms

  • Bedrooms: 2
  • Master Bedroom Dim: 14 X 13
  • Bedroom-2 Dim: 12 X 11
  • Bedroom 2: 12×11 Level: 2
  • Master Bedroom: 14×13 Level: 2
  • Master Bedroom Features: Wall-to-Wall Carpet, Bath Adjoins, Walk-in Closet, Dressing Area

Bathrooms

  • Full Bathrooms: 2
  • Half Bathrooms: 2
  • Bath 1 Features: Shower, Tub

Kitchen and Dining

  • Dining Room Dim: 11 X 10
  • Dining Room: 11×10 Level: 1
  • Dining Room Features: Wall-to-Wall Carpet
  • Formal Dining Room: Yes
  • Kitchen: 13×12 Level: 1
  • Kitchen Features: Vinyl Floor, Wood Cabinets, Pantry, Counter Bar, Walkout

Other rooms

  • Entry Dim: 10 X 4
  • Family Room Dim: 20 X 19
  • Kitchen Dim: 13 X 12
  • Laundry Room Dim: 14 X 13
  • Living Great Rm Dim: 20 X 12
  • Entry: 10×4 Level: 1
  • Entry (Foyer): Wood Floors, Closet, Open Foyer
  • Family Room: Yes
  • Family Room: 20×19 Level: Lower
  • Family Room Features: Wall-to-Wall Carpet, Fireplace, Walkout, Wet Bar
  • Living/Great Room: 20×12 Level: 1
  • Living/Great Room Features: Wall-to-Wall Carpet
  • Rooms: 7
  • Basement Feat: Finished, Walkout, Fireplace, WW Carpet
  • Basement: Full
  • Laundry Room: 14×13 Level: Lower

Interior Features

  • Cable Tv
  • Ceiling Fan
  • Recess Lights
  • Garage Door Opener
  • Attic Storage
  • 220 Volt
  • Possible Short Sale

Building and Construction

  • House Style: Traditional
  • Levels or Stories: 2
  • Construction: Brick
  • Foundation: Poured
  • Roof: Shingle
  • Windows: Insulated, Aluminum
  • Levels: 2 Story

Exterior and Lot Features

  • Patio
  • Deck
  • Views: Woods
  • Lot Square Footage: 1742

Garage and Parking

  • Number of Garage Spaces: 1
  • Garage: Attached, Front, Oversized
  • Parking: Driveway, Off Street

Heating and Cooling

  • Heating: Electric, Heat Pump
  • Cooling: Central Air
  • Fireplaces: 1
  • Fireplace: Wood, Ceramic

Utilities

  • Water Source: Public
  • Sewer: Public

Appliances

  • Oven/Range
  • Dishwasher
  • Garbage Disposal
  • Refrigerator
  • Microwave
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64 thoughts on “For Sale: Prophet’s Hovel

  1. Oh, now Charlie, for Lardo there is another word: Gossip. Actually, gossip is a lot of words.

    So Laura does know more than one word.

    Unfortunately, the words she does know are never arranged in a manner that is of any use.

    And I’m pretty sure that there are two words quite familiar to the Weinlands: “Justice Department”.

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  2. In the interest of full disclosure, here is the complete quote from Helen Lovejoy:

    “From now on I will use my gossip only for good and not for evil”.

    I hope this will explain things better.

    Sorry for the oversight.

    Too bad Lardo doesn’t make the same commitment.

    Like

  3. Little known fact:

    Jasper Beardly was the town pastor, prior to Reverend Timothy Lovejoy.

    Perhaps it would have been better if Weinland had followed Reverend Lovejoy’s example by being apathetic and playing with model trains. On the other hand, Weinland never had a church building, so he couldn’t burn it down for the insurance money.

    I think they each started their ministry around the same time….

    Like

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