Laura and Her Band of Merry Women

The Trips page on False Prophet Ronald Weinland’s blog has been update with a schedule of trips this summer.  These are:

June 14   Detroit, MI – Laura Weinland & Audra Weinland Van Horne

June 28  Columbia, MO – Laura Weinland

July 19 Lubbock, TX- Laura Weinland, Lori Williams (senior elder)

July 26  Dallas, TX- Laura Weinland, Johnny & Myrtle Harrell, Lori Williams (senior elder), Anne Wrozek (senior elder)

August 9 Minneapolis, MN – Laura Weinland, Johnny & Myrtle Harrell

August 30 Spokane, WA – Laura Weinland, Johnny & Myrtle Harrell, Audra Weinland Van Horne (senior elder)

In addition, the Trips page has some travel for Wayne next weekend, which is yet another Pentecost during which Jesus Christ will be AWOL and then to the US in late November.  Other than that the only male name on the trip schedule is Johnny.  Laura is traveling with her twice-married daughter and her friend Lori.  Also on the schedule is Anne Wrozek, whose legal name is Angela.  Laura and her band of merry women.

With recent developments, Angela/Anne is freed up to travel more.  Found on the online calendar for her local courthouse.

Here is the docket from yesterday’s activities:

The Wrozeks have two adult sons and two adult daughters. I don’t know what are the specific issues that led to the termination of their long marriage, but I imagine that Rotten Ronnie’s false prophecies played no small role.


Being Prepared

We have a bonus posting from False Prophet Ronald Weinland.  Includes confirmation that Terry Wrozek is on the outs with PKG, no longer an evangelist in any case.

—————  Yet another message from the False Prophet ————–

This is an additional post for this week that was originally going to be just a short message to the ministry and then possibly read as an announcement in Sabbath services. However, it is a little longer than first planned and it would be better for this to now be posted, as well as being read in Sabbath services this week.

Due to changes in the ministry and a part of shifting work loads, we are making some adjustments in how we can better serve the Church, although we may not have the time remaining to implement all our planning. We must continue to look ahead and strive to best serve the needs of the Church as if time will continue past Pentecost of 2014 for Christ’s return, yet knowing this could be the actual date. God has directed us to simply continue to focus from Pentecost to Pentecost; therefore, we must be wise, alert and spiritually on guard to the reality that things can accelerate at any moment in time.

The Church needs to be ever vigilant and ready for quick changes that can take place in this world within an hours notice. The United States will undoubtedly soon make a move on Syria. The reality before us is that it could happen before or even on Trumpets. That is just how volatile conditions are in this world.

Israel cannot idly sit back for very long concerning Iran’s capability in the development of nuclear weapons. Israel knows where those weapons will first be used and that they will be used soon after they have been developed. With the kind of unrest and instability that exists in Egypt to the south and growing internal struggles within Lebanon to the north, a strike on Syria by the United States would serve as perfect timing for Israel to strike Iran. A strike on Syria by a few coalition forces could indeed be a well-planned and coordinated effort to enable Israel to make an initial attack upon Iran, thereby giving coalition forces potential scenarios to use as an excuse to also engage Iran in the same effort to destroy all potential for continuing development of nuclear weapons. This could easily be done on a day that most might least expect Israel to attack – on one of their holy days, just as they have done before.

So we too must plan ahead and consider such possibilities, as we are about to enter the Holy Day season that is just before us. Therefore, we are going to load the Holy Day sermons onto the Church site so that you can download them all in case things in this world should quickly escalate to a level that might prevent travel in order to meet together on those days. Considering where we are in time, we must simply “be prepared” for any possibility. Remember, these sermons have been inspired by God to be used on the specific day that is listed by each sermon. Everyone is being directed to listen to those sermons on those dates and not before.

In addition, we are making some administrative and speaking changes as well. Johnny Harrell, as senior evangelist, has been carrying a heavy load and now that we have only one evangelist in North America, that load and responsibility has been multiplied significantly; therefore, he will be spending a lot of additional time helping take care of more administrative needs of the ministry, and as a result, he will be giving fewer sermons. Thankfully, we now have a newly ordained evangelist, Willem, who is in the Netherlands. He will help pick up some of the sermon load as time goes forward. In the mean time, Wayne will also help by preparing additional sermons.

Hopefully all of you can clearly see the significance of the Church-wide fast we have just experienced and the incredible importance of why God is sanctifying His Church at this time. The pace of things is picking up and we need to do the same – to pick up the pace in the race God has set before us.

Another One Bites the Dust?

Commenter “Frank” just left this.  I have no way to authenticate it but believe it to be genuine.  It has been a number of weeks since Terry gave a sermon:


This announcement to the ministry and all the Church is not an easy one. It is one that should be sobering to every person in God’s Church as we have entered this special time of fasting and sanctification. We are in a continuing warfare that will continue until Christ’s return. Indeed, Satan and his spirit realm is highly stirred up and they know their time is getting very short.

Terry Wrozek has been removed from God’s ministry and he has been suspended from the Church until after the Feast. At that time it will be decided if Terry is to be disfellowshipped or whether his suspension can be lifted and he can come back into full fellowship. There are personal matters in Terry’s life that he must address, and he is doing so and has expressed his complete desire to remain in God’s Church. It is our hope and belief that he will be back after the Feast, but he will no longer serve in God’s ministry.

This matter is not an easy one for all who know and love the Wrozek family. Please keep the entire family in your prayers as this is a difficult time for them.

A Crowd of Deluded

This is the 16th day of False Prophet Ronald Weinland’s sentence for tax evasion.  His long-time flunky and evangelist Terry Wrozek gave a pre-recorded sermon, with no announcements or mention of his spiritual idol’s status in prison.

Terry had a perhaps Freudian slip about the Days of Unleavened Sin.  Ronnie complained in this week’s blog post about not being able to keep the Passover.  But then many of his members have to keep Passover by themselves and wash their own feet.  So Ron, maybe you can get Bubba to wash your feet and maybe your prison guards will allow you to have some grape juice which you can spiritualize into being wine.  Or maybe Bubba has a hooch.

Terry described how he was recruited into Armstrongism at the age of 24 after watching Herbie on TV.  Terry didn’t understand the Bible until Herbie explained it to him.  Only those called by God are in PKG.  The thinning crowd of true believers have the confidence to not murmur and complain about their their treatment by a false prophet who leads them on to one Present Truth(TM) after another as he thins their wallets.


A Sobering Jolt

As I predicted in my post on Wednesday, Terry Wrozek filled in for False Prophet Ronald Weinland on the third weekend in a row that he has missed delivering a sermon.  God’s most formidable prophet apparently is still dealing with the aftereffects of appendicitis.  I say “apparently” because Terry didn’t breath a single word about his spiritual idol.  There were no indications of others present during Terry’s sermon, so I believe that he recorded it in a room by himself.

With a bit more research including consultation with someone who has a medical background, here’s possibly what has happened:  On the Day of Atonement, Ron started his episode with appendicitis.  He suffered severe abdominal pain and was not able to deliver the sermon that day.  His appendix then ruptured and the pain subsided enough that he was able to travel to New Zealand, meet the son of the Man of Sin in an airport, and deliver 4 new trivial “truths” during the feast of tabernacles.  However, stomach bile and fecal matter were oozing into his abdominal cavity via the perforated appendix, and infection set in in forcing him to seek medical attention after the feast of tabernacles (two weeks ago).  The delay in seeking medical attention means that his recovery is delayed more than normal as he deals with the resulting complications.

If my speculation is correct, then I expect that when and if he returns Ron will spin the situation as God battling Satan, holding back the appendicitis until after he could deliver his 4 “truths”. <barf>

Strenuous activity is to be avoided for a time after an appendectomy.  But two weeks on, he should have recovered enough to be able to deliver a sermon.  Word is that he often speaks sitting down, which normally works given the crowds of a dozen or so he speaks to in smaller hotel conference rooms.  But it seems that he’s bedridden and in such bad shape that he couldn’t even prepare and record a sermon from bed.  Perhaps even more could be read from the lack of any status from Terry, but maybe the Spokesman Witness will be back next week thundering about critics who lie, twist, and distort.  In some cases appendicitis can be fatal, but that can’t possibly happen to Ron as he has to remain alive to be killed by the Beast Power in the streets of Jerusalem on May 23, 2012 as the Asiatic Hordes gather nearby in the Valley of Meggiddo for the great battle to commence the following weekend.  Besides, it’s my fate to die speedily from the inside according to the curse he issued against me 95 weeks ago.

Against Nature

Lion 250False Prophet Ronald Weinland was in Los Angeles.  Even though he was speaking in the second largest metropolitan area in Manasseh and had people attending from San Jose, Utah, El Paso, and Arizona, as well as elder Ralph Dowd, evangelist Terry Wrozek, senior elder Ann Wrozek, and someone from the UK, the spokesman witness was able to speak to everyone present without sound amplification by having them move the chairs closer together.

Ron is looking forward to the elders training session at the end of February.  He cautioned his members that they should not travel to Cincinnati that weekend expecting to socialize with the new elders.  Nor should they stay in the same hotel with all the new elders, as they need to concentrate on learning their new duties.  I can state your duties very succinctly: refer every question to the FAQs on the church website and if that doesn’t work, pass the issue on to Ron.  Although Ron did pass the funeral for a member who died this week to senior elder Steve Dalrymple — I guess Ron’s too busy writing blog posts during the week to travel a couple of hundred miles.

SLioness 250urprisingly, Ron did not mention the tragedy unfolding in Haiti due to the severe earthquake experienced there.  But maybe not so surprising, since he’s switched from prophecy to the wonders of new doctrine.  Looks like we’ll have to wait until Feb 6 for the next dose of new “truth” from God’s end-time Elijah-to-come.

Ron continued on the topic of relationships between the sexes, and their “rolls”.  (“Roles” to the rest of us.)  According to Ron, it’s against nature for a male to have long hair and for a female to have short hair.  So here’s a little quiz.  Of the two pictures of the long-haired and short-haired animals shown on this post, which is the male and which is the female?  Check your answer here.

Now only 123 more weeks for Ron to tap dance for his members before the non-return of Jesus Christ.

A couple of notes:

Restoring All Things

False Prophet Ronald Weinland was a few minutes late getting started since the hall in Orlando needed to be rearranged.  During the announcements, he mentioned Tyler, a child in New Mexico who is undergoing treatment for leukemia.  I view it as a positive sign that he is being given qualified medical care and hope it works for him.

Ron made a point of not giving Tyler’s address as there supposedly are crackpots and weirdos out there who like to stir things up.  That sort of thing does not happen on my blog.   I have not published any of the addresses that have come my way, including that of the false apostle and has-been Elijah.  In fact, I’m not aware that it has happened anywhere except for a couple of incidents in comments which were quickly deleted by the website management. So Ron, whom are you talking about?

During the sermon, he railed against mockers and critics, who seek to destroy Ron and his church with lies and deceit.  Ron, I would like to see your false ministry end, but my means are to show the truth.  As I’ve said before in an email to you which you probably deleted, if I’ve said something on my site that’s not truthful then tell me what it is so I can correct it.  Rather, you impugn what I’m doing because you’re afraid that if more of your members read my site then even more will leave.

dangle_carrotAt the beginning of the sermon, Ron said it would be on the par of his sermons at the 2005 Feast of Tabernacles at which he presented his unique (at least among Armstrongites) doctrine on the origin of Christ.  First he read part way through his blog posting, and then diverted to the new topic.  After reading verses from Acts 8 and Acts 19 about the laying on of hands after baptism possible only by ordained ministers, he announced that there would be additional waves of elders.  These would be termed as associate elders, whose job it will be to baptize the hordes of people wanting to join PKG due to the fulfillment of Ron’s prophecies, which although they didn’t happen when he said they would, they will eventually.

I speculated in my last post that the status of Laura would change.  Its turns out that it has in an indirect fashion.  Laura no longer is the only ordained female in PKG.  It turns out that sleeping with an evangelist gives one spiritual qualities, as Angela (Ann) Wrozek and Myrtle Harrell were ordained by Ron as senior elders last week in Georgia.  Then Ron called Wayne Matthews in Melbourne who then ordained his wife Christine (Chris) as the third senior elder.  More men and women will be ordained as associate elders.

And Laura does have a new title.  She no longer is a prophetess.  She now is a prophet.  Ron objects to the second-class status of women, although they still will not be able to speak during services.

Some of the sealed who are older and physically not capable of performing the baptism are ineligble to be ordained.  Now this doesn’t quite make sense.  If lay members can help in the dunking part, then all they have to really do is the laying-on-of-hands part.  But why am I expecting anything Ron does to make sense.

But adding more elders including does make sense to me.  It binds the ordained ones closer to Ron so they’ll continue to ignore the failure of Ron’s prophecies. Ron plans an elders conference in Cincinnati on February 27 for training.  Ron promises more waves of ordination.  And who knows?  Maybe 20-something Tony Wilson who runs the HWA Compendium website will get to be an elder too.

Ron took time to rail against mockers and critics, who are trying to weaken the church with lies and deceit and who are being eaten up with cancer from the inside.  Now that was his curse in his first timeline — Ron, you said 53 weeks ago that I was to die quickly from the inside.

Awesome Revelations

False Prophet Ronald Weinland spoke in Bloomington, Illinois today.  He drug along his elders Ralph Dowd and Ken Zitt from Cincinnati to say the prayers and help fill up the meeting room.  I wonder if he also brought along Chris and Audra as he did last week to Erie and if they again went out for hot wings after services, or if Bloomington even has such a place.

Ron is excited about awesome new revelations coming down the pike, to be delivered in about 3-4 weeks leading up to the end of the first half of his shortened time on February 6 for which a church-wide fast has been proclaimed.  Given that Ron’s new revelations involve numbers and novel interpretations of the Bible, he probably has two screens connected to his computer, with Excel on one screen to work out the number of days between different dates, and E-Sword with Strong’s Greek and Hebrew dictionaries on the other screen to select possible meanings of words which best suit him.

Ron again took a tour through history, talking about “duck and cover” drills school children were given in the ’50’s to prepare for “nukular” attacks. Stanley Rader was used in 1979 by God to defend WCG against California Attorney General Deukmejian, but no mention of the tithe and offering money that ended up in Stan’s pocket.   Ralph Dowd was ordained in September of 1986 when Ron was assigned in Cincinnati as associate pastor, Terry Wrozek was ordained as an elder in April of 1998 and Johnny Harrell during the Feast of Tabernacles held that year at Niagara Falls.

Ron repeated the mention of the trip to Europe in November 1999 and being hosted by Benjamin and Grace in their London apartment.  Also repeated his claim that 19 were in attendance in contradiction to his statement in December of 1999 that 12 were there including 3 children.  Maybe the 10 virgins were hiding in the next room making it a total of 19 adults.  Benjamin committed the unpardonable sin not only of being on Facebook but also trying to recruit other PKG members to be his Facebook “friends”.

Jan2000NWWeinland also continued his tour through some old News Watch periodicals he published intermittently from 1998 through 2002.  Issues mentioned were:

  • December, 1999 in which he prophesied that Y2K would be a non-Event, which was pretty safe at that point given the massive effort to update all the software.
  • January, 2000 in which he rolled out the new name of the church in the banner and a new PO Box to which it seems his elders had not agreed.
  • February-March, 2000 in which a 2nd new PO Box was obtained because of the split.
  • Third Quarter of 2001 which was the start of a 4-parter proving that we’re in the end times.
  • First Quarter of 2002, Ron still didn’t understand that 9/11 was the opening of the 6th seal when he wrote this.
  • Third Quarter of 2002, This was the last issue of News Watch. Shortly after this, Ron opened the Swiss bank accounts. The following year he published his 4-color booklet “Time Has Run Out” and then went on to write his books.

Ron took News Watch off his website back in 2003, but threatens to put them back on.  However, you can download PDFs of these issues now using the links above.

Near the end of the sermon, Ron indicated that he is going to exercise his newly recognized office of Apostle by adding new doctrine.  A doctrine which he announced up front is not in the Bible, either — Old Testament or New Testament. PKG members will be expected to march in formation turning to the left or right as directed by Drill Instructor Ronald Weinland.   Being an Apostle, he is entitled to invent new doctrine just like the Apostles in the New Testament.  But then the Insane Liar invented his position as an Apostle in the first place, just as he invented his position as a Prophet of the God of Abraham.  He will no longer be bound by novel interpretations of scripture, he can just make it all up.  He expects that a few will leave the church.  I hope a lot of PKG members will leave, but I expect that most of his followers will continue chugging down the Flavor Aid to wash it all down.  Wonder if this will be better than his “no Facebook” doctrine.

Ron needs to use more smoke and mirrors to distract his followers from the lack of Great Tribulation.  December 14 (Monday) is one year from the first non-start of the Great Tribulation in the second timeline.  It’s now 12 weeks since the second non-start on the Feast of Trumpets.  Since I’ve made it now 51 weeks without suffering the speedy death Weinland cursed me with, I expect I’ll be around a few more weeks to hear what amazing new bull Ron has to share.  (I would have used a different word than “bull”, but listening to the false prophet is rubbing off on me 😉 )

Hail Columbia

False Prophet Ronald Weinland spoke today from Columbia, MO.  This trip was not announced in advance on his website — supposedly it was in honor of the golden wedding anniversary of his elder there, Sam Qualls.  Guess it was a last minute thing that came up unexpectedly.  The Harrells were there as well as was his regular traveling crew from the Cincy area: Ralph Dowd, daughter Audra and her husband Chris.  Ron was fighting a headache kicked up by his allergies to goldenrod and ragweed.

Newly ordained evangelist Terry Wrozek is placed in authority over the area he had as senior elder and is also over senior elder Jim Jamieson.  Ron’s government structure is now in place to handle the millions of people who will soon be joining the Church of God – PKG as Ron’s prophesies finally start happening.  But Ron’s been saying that since the beginning of 2008.  And for years he’s been saying that the media would be seeking him out as disaster after disaster unfolded.

FOT_hotel_1The Feast of Tabernacles is in 3 weeks, and a few days later members will assemble in hotels like the one pictured here for the last 3 days of the feast and then the Last Great Day.  This coming Saturday is the 40th sabbath of the Great Tribulation and the Feast of Trumpets.  I’ll take that as a judgment of Weinland as a prophet, just as the 40-week period from Christmas of 2007 to Trumpets of 2008 was a judgment on Satan.

The sermon was about fellowship, that members should avoid cliques and gravitating toward those who are similar and ignoring others.  Ron claims that he is more comfortable with the working men who are in jobs which are not well regarded.  I think Ron should go with that — maybe his brother Steve would give him a job at his trash hauling company.

People should be forgiving of others, even those not in his church.  Of course that doesn’t apply to the Two Witnesses, who are allowed to issue death curses against those who criticize him — just like the one he issued for my speedy death 38 weeks ago.

Ron’s Coffee Cakes

For a change, False Prophet Ronald Weinland stayed in Cincinnati this weekend. In honor of the occasion, his son Jeremy and daughter-in-law Patricia have traveled from Germany for a visit.  Ron and Laura have plenty of room for visitors in their mansion on the golf course.

In honor of Ron’s being a fan of Starbucks, Libby made him a couple of cakes in the shape of Starbucks coffee cups last week while in Dallas — both standard size and Texas size.  Hopefully Libby’s marriage to Bo which was quickly promoted by impending end-time events is turning out well.

Weinland’s long-time elder Terry Wrozek has been nearly caught-up, having lagged behind others promoted ahead of him.  Perhaps he got rid of some sin in his life, or maybe he completely cleaned out his 401k for Ron. Terry was promoted to Senior Elder a couple of months ago. And now finally Terry is the third of Weinland’s evangelists. However, Johnny Harrell has been promoted to Senior Evangelist above him, and Laura still outranks both of them as Prophetess. Still several layers of authority between Evangelist Terry and God — although it’s not clear whether Jesus and God have their own layers or are on the same one with Ron.

Ron mentioned increases stress levels and a stirred-up spirit world. He had a hard week and doesn’t know if there will indeed be a Feast of Tabernacles in a few weeks. He also mentioned that the apostles had been imprisoned. Perhaps this is an indication that the IRS may soon make him an imprisoned prophet.

Here is a clip of Rick Miller’s presentation at ideaCity. Perhaps Rick’s twisting the arm of Ron’s brother is what sent the formidable prophets fleeing.

And here’s a clip of Tom Harpur’s presentation at ideaCity immediately following that of the Spokesman Witness, which also didn’t make our end-time prophet and prophetess very happy. Can anyone identify the woman in the audience shown between 43 and 49 seconds in this clip?

It’s now 37 weeks since the Insane Lying Lunatic cursed me to die speedily from the inside. Only 3 more before the big 4-0.